Last week’s blog post was solely focusing on how parents prepare for visitors and how family & friends are able to honour the postpartum period. Along with that, this week I will be discussing other areas of postpartum that we can think about prenatally.
Again, the feather will be used to represent the delicate stage parents are in when a baby is welcomed into the world. During this period we want the feather to remain light, to do so we can plan or even think about the postpartum period before it actually arrives. The last thing we want parents to be faced with is a loaded To-Do list with no help from family & friends.
Let's honour the postpartum period by thinking of these simple, but equally important tasks:
Pet care. Do you have pets in your house that need day to day care? Firstly, we can think about who will take care of the pets if you are having a hospital birth. Secondly, who is going to come over every day for the first few weeks to take the dog for a walk?
Household care. During the first few weeks after a baby is born the most important thing is for the gestational parent to heal and adapt to having a newborn. Instead of getting up every day making sure the kitchen is clean, garbage is taken out or caught up on the laundry, new parents should be spending time with their baby. Asking family or friends to come over to complete one or two of these tasks can relieve the parent’s stress and allow them to spend more time with their baby.
Nutritional needs. Gestational parents don't want to be cooking a full-blown nutrient-dense meal after spending a day caring for a new baby and recovering from their birth. One of the easiest ways to support parent’s nutritional needs is by gathering a group of friends and family and setting up a meal train. Having a home-cooked meal every night for the first few weeks postpartum is a new parent’s dream.
Self-care. Everyone, especially gestational parents, needs to have a little alone time here and there. During the postpartum period people often think that everything revolves around the newborn, and consequently, forget that the gestational parent needs have some alone time. Maybe it is once or twice a week where the new parent gets to go out for lunch with a friend, take a bath or even go for a walk by themselves. Self-care is crucial to help with gestational parent’s well-being because they are the ones caring for the newborn 24/7.
Tackle the To-Do list. Everyone I know has that overflowing to-do list that never gets completed. Now just imagine that list being 2 times longer with a new baby in the house. Allowing someone to come over and do even one task a day can help during the postpartum period because it is one less thing new parents need to worry about. Those tasks could be grocery shopping, organizing an area of the house, laundry, pet care, or even watching the baby so parents can go to appointments.
Gestational parents can determine their rings of support, so when support is needed they can reach to those people. All of the added tasks shouldn't be put onto the partner because they are also identifying who they are as a new parent. Reaching out for support and planning during pregnancy makes the adjustment into parenthood that much easier.
Postpartum doulas are also a helpful resource during the postpartum period. It can be even more beneficial to hire a postpartum doula prenatally so gestational parents and the doula can plan and prepare ahead of time. Postpartum doulas aid with feedings, self-care: allow time for gestational parents to rest, make meals or snack plates, organization, laundry, basic cleaning, and newborn care. As well, postpartum doulas are a listening ear and advocate for the new parents. With Christmas in a few days, if you or someone you know is stuck on a gift for expecting parents, gifting them a few postpartum sessions with a postpartum doula is a great way to show your support.
One of my goals as a postpartum doula is to make sure that the feather isn't saturated before the postpartum period even begins. Allowing the world to acknowledge the importance of planning for postpartum prenatally can let the feather fly off in the wind and be supported throughout the journey. Nobody should ever be alone, and the more we talk about the change from pregnancy to postpartum the less we will hear "I wasn't expecting this" or "I wasn't prepared for this".
Happy Holidays,
-Brielle Pedersen-Skene
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