This week we hold space for those who struggle with infertility whether that be: IVF treatments, PCOS, miscarriages, ectopic pregnancies and so much more.
1 in 8 couples are struggling to get pregnant and have been diagnosed and/or are going through one or many of the things listed above.
1 in 8, seems like a large percentage, it is, but for many going through infertility, it feels more isolating than that because lots are too afraid to share their story. This week's goal is to bring awareness and strength to those who will uncover their story, and for others to start asking questions. Couples shouldn't be forced to hide their journey because they feel ashamed of not getting pregnant easily. We most likely all know someone who is struggling with infertility and we also know people who are struggling yet keep it to themselves. Couples struggle with infertility more than you might think!
Everyone’s infertility journey is different but they all have one thing in common, they are constantly riding a roller coaster because their journey is never one straight line.
One of the most gut-wrenching things couples go through is watching their friends and family have children. They love those children as if they were their own, but inside; their hearts hurt, they are breaking.
Nobody will ever understand what it’s like to go through infertility until you experience it first hand. Someone may not even know they will struggle until they start trying to conceive, or maybe they have been diagnosed with PCOS from a young age and have been preparing for this journey for years.
I wish so badly that couples going through their infertility journey knew that doulas are there for them. Doulas will be your safe space and are riding through this journey with you.
To anyone on their infertility journey, here is a message from me to you, as a doula.
You are not alone, and I hope you never feel isolated, even though it probably feels like that sometimes.
You look around at your family and friends having babies and I know you would do everything in your power to protect them and love them like your own, but inside your heart is hurting. You feel the pain every time someone close to you announces they are expecting or when you hear people say “we weren’t trying” or “it wasn’t planned”. You put on your brave face when really you just want to cripple. You wish you could swap places with them, but you can’t.
Your journey takes time, it will feel like a roller coaster with all the ups and downs. Your journey may break you, build you back up and test every single inch of your body- you are strong, this journey is testing your strength.
Throughout the process, you will discover many emotions- fear, anger, anxiety, and resentment. To add to that you may be pushed away from family/friends and care providers with invalidation or unsolicited advice. Your journey requires you to invest so much mentally and financially, yet your bucket continues to be filled with loss and disappointment.
Grief is grief, I can’t change that. You will go through it but hopefully not alone. I am here to support your grief, I am here to be your safe space. With me, you can pour out your grief without fear or judgement.
I will be here to listen, offer a shoulder to cry on, and make you a cup of tea as we talk through the highs and lows. Bring you a meal when you feel too weak to cook or come to an appointment to hold your hand. I will even be the person to inject your medications for you because your partner doesn’t want to see you go through the pain again. I will always be here for you, any way that you need it.
I will be your biggest cheerleader as your story grows and your puzzle is completed. I hope you know this journey is making you stronger.
This week is dedicated to those of you who have been touched by infertility. I am here for you, each and every day that you need.
I think about you through every step of your journey and I admire your bravery,
Brielle
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